The BlogPosted by Paul Webb Sat, October 26, 2013 07:41:20
Cyclists guide to Cyprus!
Rules of the road
(From the perspective of the Cypriot)
In Cyprus we drive in the left.... But we reserve the right to alternate ( randomly).
When you approach a roundabout creep out in to the roundabout slowly until the traffic cannot navigate you, give a hard stare if someone looks at you!
Signs and lines and junctions are just a guide..... Sneak forward until the traffic cannot navigate you and apply hard stare.
When stopped at a junction and a cyclist is approaching make eye contact so the cyclist knows that you have seen him, however under no circumstance should this prevent you from pulling out in front of him, if the cyclist should remonstrate give him the hard stare.
Opening car doors see above ....
We own the road! Except that pothole that we are forcing you to ride into.... U can have that.
We also don't own the road when it comes to repair them .... Them the EEC owns it.
Our motorway signs are green and the rural roads are blue.
The motorways RULE we will get u on to them even though you are not allowed!
It is illegal to drive in Cyprus without a phone plastered to your ear..... The only exception to this is of course when you are texting, emailing or checking your Facebook status, you must not let road safety interfere with your communication as a Cypriot everything you have to say is invaluable.
White line in the middle of the road is advisory, try to go over re other side as much as possible when these are present
If I indicate this just means that the bulb is working..... Not that I intend to turn that way..... Silly
Headlights, we are saving the bulbs for a special occasion, darkness ain't it!
When it's dangerous to overtake a cyclist always give it a go, sometimes it's safer to go into that tiny gap a lot faster than Normal .... For safety's sake!
If u are going to overtake give 4 LOUD beeps on the horn to make them aware you are going to pass whatever happens so F@CK u
If a cyclist looks lost intimidate him by driving extra close to wake him up!
Red lights are optional (see t junctions)
Double yellow lines are just opportunities to park ... They are nice and clear!
Parking should be carried out in a way to be as dangerous as possible to cyclists..... Keep them on there toes
If you are not lost at the moment don't worry you will be in 30 seconds as the signposts we have are hopeless we will also use shapes for letters and use them interchangeably whenever we f@cking feel like it.
If you are a farmer there are no rules we are the backbone of the Cyprus economy
If you are a coach driver the rules don't apply to you as we are the backbone of the economy ( delivering pukers and pikeys to the Butlin style 1950 booze holes / vomitariuns we call tourists resorts
Police .... We cannot afford them and even if we could they would be to busy playing cards in their mates cafe!
Don't be surprised if the road just ends .... We ran out of money when the Russians shafted us!
We celebrate Garmins inability to map Cyprus correctly, just because the Turkish invades in 74 and there are Army bases.... I don't think Garmins refusal to map the island is going to get rid of the Army or the Turks!
Don't let this put you off though the island has some great roads and a fantastic climate, thank you people of Cyprus it's been FAB
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